Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Yeah son

141,555 notes

tacoposey:

after my procedure at the hospital today my doctor tried to explain all of the medications he’s putting me on and i was kind of out of it on pain meds and he goes, “and i’m going to be putting you on some serious steroids, do you have any problems with that?” 

and apparently i looked at my mom and whispered, “i’ll never play major league baseball” and started crying

(via slurpeesinhell)

58,083 notes

doctor:
sir we asked you to tape your allergic reactions this is just a video of you skateboarding
me:
tell me thats not sick
doctor:
haha yeah its pretty fucking sick dude

77,600 notes

vivianvivisection:

straight boys think girls can’t take compliments, and that’s ridiculous cause i’ve seen so many girls compliment each other, i’ve seen conversations & friendships blossom from girls complimenting each other in line, on the street, at school waiting for the bys, pretty much anywhere.

the problem is straight boys think sexual harassment & assault are compliments.

(via live-long-and-basically-run)

10,200 notes

Anonymous asked: say "bear" 97 times and you will become a bear

zdk13eros:

bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear bear 

You are becoming trickier! Your foolery! You fooled me excellently! You fooled me,I am experiencing negative side effects,however! I am not a bear! Get out of my homestead